Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Season Ender!

Well, whether or not I can comprehend it, my season ended 2.5 weeks ago.  If you follow my posts at all, it was a questionable start, after getting an ankle joint infection from a cut from climbing, that required surgery and 3 weeks on the couch.  I fought back more slowly from that than I had anticipated, with 5 weeks of antibiotics and a few weeks of doing nothing taking their toll on me more than I would have liked.  But about 3 weeks later all of that had faded into the background of being immersed in the life of running our ski touring business.

It's a routine that makes the days fly by. 5:30am wake up to do the weather, chop would, prep breakfast and lunch, guide's meetings, help guests with gear issues, and finally get out the door to ski at 8:30. That's when the day gets simpler, lodge maintenance fades into the background, and the purity of one step forward at a time and snow assessment take hold.  Your skis grant you the freedom to escape from the grind, whether you are a guest on holiday or a guide/owner/operator for a day at work.  We all lose ourselves in the moment of striding uphill and flying downhill, from valley to mountain top and back again.  Smooth and fast we slide back to the lodge, the tasks take hold for me again, with a mirror image of the morning routine, but its great to watch the guests stay in that zone, melting away in the sauna, replenishing the burned calories and continuing with the simple life.
But then my world decided to change.  Just when you are hitting your stride, sometimes the world has a different path for you to follow.  I had just finished a big week of guiding, with a group of guests, we averaged between 8 and 9 thousand feet of skiing a day, a few people squeaking in 50 grand for their week.  6 weeks after having surgery I was worried if I would pull it off, but hard and tiring as it was, it was also rewarding, considering as well that we had uncharacteristically bad snow for a bunch of days from an abnormal wind event that seemed to jack every bit of open snow in British Columbia.  The next group came in and a few days later so did the snow.  We settled in to the 'normal' 5 to 6 grand of skiing per day, which is plenty by my standards, and with 30cms of fresh snow, it felt like a new world out there.  So I was skiing like it was bottomless Kootenay cold smoke, but then I hit bottom.  Or at least started my journey to the bottom.

In my typical, 'I want to ski to inspire' fast and fun style, I found the wind jacked snow just below the surface, and my left ski decided to auger in and go a little to the right while my body kept going straight and maybe a little to the left.  Then I heard the 'pop' you hear about and fear as a skier/athlete/guide.  I instantly knew something was wrong.  As is human instinct I tried to get up and walk it off, but boom, I was right back on the ground, my left leg no't working right.  Deep in the backcountry, I looked at my watch and started to make decisions.  I still was with a group of 12 guests and 2 other guides, so support was there, but that was the rest of everyone's day, dealing with me.  A few super labored zig zag turns and collapses and I made it off of avalanche terrain and met up with the group, almost blacking out with pain and adrenaline.  With cloud building and a quality rescue sled made by Kootenay Rescue Bubble, Jasmin, my super tough wife and co-guide, made the right call to drag me out.  So we immobilized my leg, put me in the sled and spent the next 3 hours getting me back to the lodge.  It took 100% from everyone to make it happen, team work at its finest but for sure Andrew (the other guide) and Jasmin worked the hardest.

Getting back to my cabin at the lodge is when it all broke down.  Waves of emotion crested over me as I knew my path had changed.  There will be no freedom in the hills for many months now, my endorphin source taken away.  A new uphill battle through the 'non-life threatening' public health care system was setting up to be my fight.  I wasn't scared or upset at hurting my self, and looking at surgery and the road to recovery, I was more upset about letting down my wife, having doubled her workload at our lodge with me out of commission, scared at losing my freedom and becoming a prisoner of immobility, scared of losing touch with my wife and hound as I knew I wouldn't be able to be up at the lodge for the rest of the winter as I battled down the road of recovery.  The preciousness of the special and unique life we have seemed all to real.

We all adapt and change though, and we settle in to our new roles as best we can.  Or maybe we just cope.  Again and again, folks like to talk about the 'reasons' behind things happening.  I don't think things happen for a reason. I think we are all in control of our destinies. I think the 'silver lining' is something we find on our own and decide to focus on. One door closing just makes you realize that there are other doors to open and explore. I found my path and partner in life and I am going to fight like hell to get back on it and with her stronger than before.  Eventually I will get in to surgery to repair my ACL and meniscus and my bruised up bones will heal.  Maybe I will learn some cool things along the way, or maybe I will realize that in my mid 30s I need to stop breezing through my physical life and start making my body work harder for it and training. Either way my eyes are open to what needs to get done and now I need to do it!

So you won't find the deepest faceshot, most majestic views or insane physical feats coming from me for a few months.  You will find me filling you in on the slow road to recovery that I know many of you have traveled down, with the small victories and defeats of the daily struggle.  I know a ton of you can relate, and my strength comes from standing on the shoulders of so many of you that have hurt yourselves before me.  In the end, no one died, and I should be charging in the hills again before I know it, so really its just a flat tire, with a busted spare, and a long walk to the nearest service station for help. And when I get the tire fixed I can continue down my wonderful path in life!

Here's a quick vid showing you the life I am now missing...

PS...thanks to all the friends and family that have showed their support, much appreciated!